Just now a man grabbed me from behind by the strap of my totebag because, apparently, I exited the subway car before him.
— Nozlee S-H (@nzle) August 27, 2014
As I said the other day on Twitter, I feel like I have only just recently learned of the Every Dayness of what women are forced to live with. As in, I was aware of rape, abuse, harassment, but I was not aware of how much crap women face in the course of just a normal day.
I still don’t know what I can do about it most of the time, but at the very least I can make sure that others know about it as well.
The story at the link above isn’t very long, and it gives more of the story surrounding that quote above.
Guys: when we see stuff like this happening, it’s our responsibility to say that “Hey, what you are doing is not OK.”
So, because I was sick, The Boy went to school with his teacher.
(Did I mention that his teacher is our next door neighbor? Yup.)
The Boy, making small talk, mentioned that our Internet had been down. She said that they had just switched this spring to a different company and were paying a lot less, and were much happier with it.
“Plus there’s no quota.”
In case you’ve somehow missed me complaining about it at least once a week in the past forever, we pay about $130+tax for 20 GB per month. That’s not a typo.
In case you don’t have any idea how much bandwidth you use per month, let me just go out on a limb and say that you probably use more than 20 GB even in just casual Internet usage. It works out to about 666 MB/day. An update for an iPad or iPhone/iPod touch can easily exceed that. I have our computers locked down tightly and we still managed to burn through about 2 GB in about 30 minutes the other day.
It’s a constant, daily frustration. Even without watching video, or even streaming audio, we are always running into the quota.
So I checked the company’s website to see what they were offering… I was half-expecting it to be some “Hey, look, we’ve brought back dialup-internet access!”
But it wasn’t.
It’s pretty much what we have now.
But no quota.
And no contract. (Remember the fiber people wanted a FIVE YEAR contract?)
They are supposed to send someone out to verify that they can get service to us. Now, since our next-door neighbor has it, chances are good, but our house is a little lower “line of sight”-wise, so there’s a chance that maybe it won’t work. But if it can, they could have it installed NEXT WEEK.
Look, I don’t ask for much… ok, that’s probably not true… but still, I really, really hope this works out. I can’t even begin to tell you the amount of time and energy I spend trying to make this stupid quota thing work every month.
Next they said “[h]e ‘dabbled’ in drugs and alcohol” which is pretty much the most weasel-word way of saying that there are allegations that he might have used drugs and alcohol on more than zero occasions. They used the plural for “drugs” but I haven’t heard anything stronger than marijuana alleged, which is legal in some parts of the country. So let’s say that he did smoke pot and drink. Anyone care to guess the percentage of 18 year-olds who have done so? Our last several presidents have all admitted to smoking pot, and at least one of them had been an alcoholic.
[George W. Bush was] arrested for drunk driving in 1976 near his family home in Kennebunkport, Maine. He paid a fine and his license was suspended. Ten years earlier, at age 20, he was arrested for disorderly conduct but the charges were later dropped. Source: ABC News
He did far more than “dabble” with drugs and alcohol, and he went on to become president.
Then there’s the second sentence:
He had taken to rapping in recent months, producing lyrics that were by turns contemplative and vulgar.
First of all, as someone who spent 5 years doing youth ministry with teenagers (and worked with them many more years than that), let me tell you that most teenagers are both contemplative and vulgar. (So are many adults, for that matter.) If you let their “vulgarity” shock you (which is probably what they are expecting or even hoping for), then you’ll miss the chance to get to know their contemplative side.
Is that true for all teens? No, I’m sure it isn’t, and I’d be willing to bet it’s true for more boys than girls, although the girls would probably surprise you, because they often learn early on that they have to hide themselves more than the boys, who are given more “freedom” under the “boys will be boys” excuse.
Teachers at Normandy High School said he [Mike Brown] was well liked, a kid who often had a group of people surrounding him as he practiced rap lyrics.
“A lot of my students claim to be rappers. Mike actually wrote songs,” said Douglas Carr, who was Brown’s English teacher during the 2013 summer-school session. “He had a plan. It was his music, and then it was technical school. A lot of kids who think they’re rappers don’t have a Plan B, but Mike really seemed to.”
In July, Asia Jackson, 18 and another aspiring musician, walked into the Ferguson McDonald’s and spotted a friend. Next to him sat Brown.
After introducing himself and realizing they both rapped, Jackson challenged Brown to freestyle, to come up with lyrics on the spot. Brown obliged.
“He really thought through his words while he rhymed,” Jackson said, adding that the two agreed they would have to get together soon for a recording session in Brown’s basement studio.
Brown built that makeshift studio himself at his grandmother’s, and it was there, Johnson said, that Brown would spend hours working on lyrics.
“Ain’t got a care for tomorrow ’cause we too high in the game,” Brown raps in one song he recorded.
In later tracks, God and Christianity are prominent. His uncle said Brown, at the urging of his stepmother, had been recently baptized. In one song, he calls his stepmother, Calvina Brown, his best friend. The last track he posted online was another local rapper’s song that featured a Brown verse: “Devil get up off my back. I knock you off your feet,” Brown said. “Another man down in my city. Why people so petty?”
Why hasn’t the (white/mainstream) media described him as a Christian? Has anyone seen a “Christian boy shot in front of house” headline? I haven’t.
Think you would have heard this sooner if Mike Brown had been white?
Now, before someone asks “What difference does it make if he was a Christian?” Well, it doesn’t. Nor does it matter that he had “taken to rapping” or that he might have smoked pot or “dabbled” with alcohol.
None of that matters when we remember that we’re talking about an 18 year-old unarmed kid who was shot at least 6 times while 35 feet away from a police officer who started the confrontation by yelling at Brown and Johnson because they weren’t walking on the street. If Mike Brown had been a Muslim who never touched a drop or a drug it wouldn’t make any difference. Darren Wilson didn’t see a boy who dabbled with drugs and alcohol and who had taken to rapping. Darren Wilson saw a black kid who he could harass with impunity. Whatever happened after that initial conversation happened because of Darren Wilson‘s actions. Mike Brown was walking down the street. Darren Wilson saw him, Darren Wilson confronted him, Darren Wilson shot and killed him. If there was a “scuffle” it happened because Darren Wilson saw Mike Brown and decided to stop what he was supposed to be doing (responding to an emergency call) to demand the Mike Brown and Dorian Johnson respect his authority.
Three minutes later, Darren Wilson had shot Mike Brown at least 6 times, and the Ferguson Police department left his body in the street for hours before dumping him into an SUV.
A boy who called his stepmother his best friend. A boy who had a “Plan B” just in case his dream didn’t work out. A boy who never thought he’d be shot and left dead in the street and his killer be given almost half-a-million dollars by strangers.
It’s awful. It’s heart-wrenchingly, soul-crushingly awful. But it’s not going to stop unless we stand up and say no more and never again.
I love listening to legal arguments. I found it fascinating to listen to the lawyers debate back in 2000 when we had debate about the presidential election. But these lawyers can’t find a single leg to stand on.
And, again, it bears repeating that the judge who is giving them the most trouble is “a moderate conservative with an unapologetic bias toward reality and logic” not some liberal hot-head.
Give it a listen. Or don’t. It’s a relatively free country :-)
Edited to Add…
It wasn’t just that one judge either.
Starting at the 24m35s mark, Judge Hamilton goes into a discussion of the claim that what Wisconsin and Indiana want to do is “promote childbirths in marriage” and “encourage parents to stick together and raise those children.”
I assume you’re familiar with how that’s been working out in practice over the past 25 or 30 years.
The judge continued:
I checked, Over a 20 years period from 1990-2009 the proportion of births to unmarried mothers increased by 53% in Wisconsin, by 68% in Indiana. The Wisconsin figure was 37% non-marital births in 2009. who, under the current state policy, have more than 80%, some even more than 90% of their births outside marriage.
It’s a little hard to see, if that’s as important as you’re telling us it is as a policy goal of the state, it’s a little hard to see how that is with the rest of the state’s policies, given those results.
Response from lawyer for Wisconsin:
First of all, I was not aware of those results until just hearing them now
Those are CDC [figures], those are unimpeachable government statistics.
I’m not quarreling with the data, your honor.
Surely you’re aware of the dramatic rise in births outside of marriage
I had not been, specifically, until just now.
Wow. So, it’s an important government policy, but you had no idea that it was a complete failure and were unaware that it had not been working out at all? Sounds like you’re pretty terrible at your job. After all, if you’re telling me that this is important, how can you not know how well it has been working?
Unless, of course, that really isn’t what you care about.
The lawyer fumbles long and tries to pull something out of his behind, but the judge doesn’t wait for him to find it.
It’s sort of like trying to focus on the mote in someone else’s eye while ignoring the beam in one’s own.
In case you missed it, that’s a reference to
where Jesus offered a smackdown to hypocritical judgments.
If what you’re really trying to do, as we’re being told here, is define marriage strictly in terms of opposite sex couples so as to channel births into marriage, it’s a pretty unsuccessful policy.
Yet it’s the policy of the state…
What it is is a reverse-engineered theory to explain marriage in such a way that you avoid the logic of Lawrence and ignore a good deal of history about the institution of marriage, and provide this very narrow, artificial rationale for it.
Translation: What you want is to deny same-sex couples the right to get married, and so you started with that goal and then started looking for some legal argument that you could make to support it.
(In Biblical studies this is called Eisegesis: you start with a position that you want to defend, and then you go to the Bible in search of verses that might seem to support your pre-existing belief.)
The only possible legal defense that you can make is if there is some way to show that marriage is about making babies and raising babies, and so you’re trying to redefine marriage in those terms, despite the fact that marriage is not limited to that idea, which is why we let sterile people get married, etc.
(Lawyers for the state of California tried these same arguments against Proposition 8 several years ago, and failed equally spectacularly.)
TL;DR: Judge to lawyer: “You are so full of shit it’s dripping out of your ears.”
p.s. - the lawyer tried to say something about the state acting “incrementally” in its views towards marriage.
The judge asked what the state did to test the effectiveness of its policies.
The judge asked “What have you done to test what the effects of same-sex marriage might be?“
To which the Judge replied, basically: “Uh huh, thought so.”
On the evidence of the last few weeks, what we are seeing is the end of gamers, and the viciousness that accompanies the death of an identity. Due to fundamental shifts in the videogame audience, and a move towards progressive attitudes within more traditional areas of videogame culture, the gamer identity has been broken. It has nowhere to call home, and so it reaches out inarticulately at invented problems, such as bias and corruption, which are partly just ways of expressing confusion as to why things the traditional gamer does not understand are successful (that such confusion results in abject heartlessness is an indictment on the character of the male-focussed gamer culture to begin with).
Good article explaining why the death rattle of exclusivity you’re hearing from gamers is happening.
Hey look, sometimes a misogynist just wants to settle in for a nice, quiet night of fantasy violence against stupid bitches, insulting other men by calling them women, and concealing their latent homosexual desires by accusing everyone else of being totally gay. Can’t a guy indulge his anxiety about his own masculinity in peace? WHY ARE YOU TAKING AWAY THEIR SAFE SPACES, FEMINAZIS?
Oh, Dudebros, we understand…. Life is unfair! I mean, you’re acting like two year olds throwing a temper tantrum, except filled with actual hate and threats against other people, and you’re still not getting your way?
Apparently everyone else knows this because none of the reviews I read (while trying to avoid spoilers) seemed to say.
UPDATE: or maybe it isn’t. That would explain why no one mentions the other two. Now I can’t remember where I saw that it was. Weird.
There are Hempstock women in The Graveyard Book (Liza), Stardust (Daisy), and The Ocean at the End of the Lane (Lettie). They are all related, Neil has confirmed this several times, but the books themselves are not a series.
Ah, ok. Sort of like several characters in Christopher Moore’s books set in San Francisco who appear in other books, but you don’t really need to have read the other books to understand their appearance in this book.
“Never be afraid to apologize to your child. If you lose your temper and say something in anger that wasn’t meant to be said, apologize. Children need to know that adults can admit when they are wrong.”—