Fun Size Bytes


  1. Dammit I Love You Jerks Morrow

    Dammit I Love You Jerks Morrow

  2. Words With The Wife, episode 2013-03-12

    Her: “Would it be OK if my mom came for a visit?”

    Me: “Of course. When?”

    Her: “I’m going to look for flights now.”

    Me: “OK.”

    (Time Passes)

    Her: “I got her a flight for March 26th.”

    Me: “Oh good, she’ll be here for Easter.”

    Her: “Yeah, and The Boy’s spring break.”

    Me: “How long is she staying?”

    Her: “She said to just get her a one-way ticket…”

    Me: “I’m gonna need a bigger bourbon.”

    Her: “What?”

    Me: “What?”

  3. effyoufyi wrote...

    Erm, actually, "fiancé" is only for the groom-to-be. "Fiancée" is the B2B. So.

    I have no idea what you’re talking about and besides I already fixed it.

  4. Tumblr Pope?

    I can’t be Tumblr Pope, I have like 8 wives.

    sigh

    I will admit to being briefly excited about the prospect of getting to wear a big jaunty hat.

  5. Here’s one I bet you haven’t heard before…

    When cosmetic surgeon Allan Wu first heard the woman’s complaint, he wondered if she was imagining things or making it up.

    A resident of Los Angeles in her late sixties, she explained that she could not open her right eye without considerable pain and that every time she forced it open, she heard a strange click—a sharp sound, like a tiny castanet snapping shut.

    After examining her in person at The Morrow Institute in Rancho Mirage, Calif., Wu could see that something was wrong: Her eyelid drooped stubbornly, and the area around her eye was somewhat swollen.

    Six and a half hours of surgery later, he and his colleagues had dug out small chunks of bone from the woman’s eyelid and tissue surrounding her eye, which was scratched but largely intact.

    The clicks she heard were the bone fragments grinding against one another.

    Executive Summary via @tomroyal on Twitter:

    "Woman uses unapproved stem-cell based cosmetic treatment…

    Grows extra bones.

    In her eyelids.”

    So…

    Yeah…

    Sleep well, everyone!

    read the whole story at scientificamerican.com

    Also: “The Morrow Institute”? This takes Dammit Morrow to a whole new level.

  6. SERIOUSLY MORROW I AM GOING TO PUNCH YOU RIGHT IN THE JUNK FOR EVER SUGGESTING THAT I EVER PLAY THIS STUPID GAME THAT I CAN’T STOP PLAYING I ALMOST BEAT THIS STUPID LEVEL EXCEPT THOSE STUPID FRICKIN HELIPADS OR WHATEVER THEY ARE THAT YOU JUST CANNOT KILL NO MATTER WHAT YOU THROW AT THEM THIS IS TOTAL BULL AND I COULD HAVE PROBABLY KILLED THAT STUPID SOLDIER IF I HAD PUT MY TESLA TOWER IN THAT SPOT MARKED WITH AN X BUT I DIDN’T REALIZE I HAD ENOUGH UNTIL IT WAS TOO LATE AND AAARRGH THIS GAME IS SO FRICKIN FRUSTRATING OK I GUESS IT’S TIME TO TRY AGAIN BUT SERIOUSLY I HATE THIS STUPID THING GRRRR.

    SERIOUSLY MORROW I AM GOING TO PUNCH YOU RIGHT IN THE JUNK FOR EVER SUGGESTING THAT I EVER PLAY THIS STUPID GAME THAT I CAN’T STOP PLAYING I ALMOST BEAT THIS STUPID LEVEL EXCEPT THOSE STUPID FRICKIN HELIPADS OR WHATEVER THEY ARE THAT YOU JUST CANNOT KILL NO MATTER WHAT YOU THROW AT THEM THIS IS TOTAL BULL AND I COULD HAVE PROBABLY KILLED THAT STUPID SOLDIER IF I HAD PUT MY TESLA TOWER IN THAT SPOT MARKED WITH AN X BUT I DIDN’T REALIZE I HAD ENOUGH UNTIL IT WAS TOO LATE AND AAARRGH THIS GAME IS SO FRICKIN FRUSTRATING OK I GUESS IT’S TIME TO TRY AGAIN BUT SERIOUSLY I HATE THIS STUPID THING GRRRR.

  7. DAMMIT MORROW I CAN’T BEAT THIS LEVEL AND I HATE IT AND YOU AND WILL ONLY PLAY ONE MORE TIME NO REALLY I MEAN IT THIS IS THE LAST TIME I AM GOING TO TRY IT.

    DAMMIT MORROW I CAN’T BEAT THIS LEVEL AND I HATE IT AND YOU AND WILL ONLY PLAY ONE MORE TIME NO REALLY I MEAN IT THIS IS THE LAST TIME I AM GOING TO TRY IT.

  8. Step 1. Ask Twitter for iOS game recommendations

Step 2. Get one from Morrow

Step 3. Download Fieldrunners 2

Step 4. Play 483 games of Fieldrunners 2 in one day and yet fail to master it completely.

Step 5. DAMMIT MORROW!

    Step 1. Ask Twitter for iOS game recommendations

    Step 2. Get one from Morrow

    Step 3. Download Fieldrunners 2

    Step 4. Play 483 games of Fieldrunners 2 in one day and yet fail to master it completely.

    Step 5. DAMMIT MORROW!

  9. Dear Lindsay:

Fine. Happy now?

Yeah, very “discreet” Fitbit. Nothing like a piece of plastic clipped to your chest to escape anyone noticing it.

And once again women have it so much better because they get to clip it to their bra, where no one can see it. Also, they get to have sexy boobs. And what do men get? Testicles. Yeah, that’s fair. Whatever.

Anyway, I blame you for this. Also, apparently, Whitaker.

And Morrow too, of course. HE KNOWS WHAT HE DID.

Anyway, if any of you jerks are on Fitbit, find me.

    Dear Lindsay:

    Fine. Happy now?

    Yeah, very “discreet” Fitbit. Nothing like a piece of plastic clipped to your chest to escape anyone noticing it.

    And once again women have it so much better because they get to clip it to their bra, where no one can see it. Also, they get to have sexy boobs. And what do men get? Testicles. Yeah, that’s fair. Whatever.

    Anyway, I blame you for this. Also, apparently, Whitaker.

    And Morrow too, of course. HE KNOWS WHAT HE DID.

    Anyway, if any of you jerks are on Fitbit, find me.

  10. morrowplanet:

Seriously? Seriously.

a. HILARIOUS.

b. You have your wife in your address book by her name? How boring.

c. This is obviously Photoshopped because it shows you with 5 bars of AT&T 3G.

    morrowplanet:

    Seriously? Seriously.

    a. HILARIOUS.

    b. You have your wife in your address book by her name? How boring.

    c. This is obviously Photoshopped because it shows you with 5 bars of AT&T 3G.

  11. Unexpected side-benefit: it will be easier than ever to add people to the chart.

    Unexpected side-benefit: it will be easier than ever to add people to the chart.

  12. nicky36:

My latest twitter list.

Hey Nicky, I fixed that for you. It had some sort of smudge on it when you posted it.

    nicky36:

    My latest twitter list.

    Hey Nicky, I fixed that for you. It had some sort of smudge on it when you posted it.