Fun Size Bytes

  1. inmi replied to your photo: Don’t block my cookies, man. That’s just mean.

    I should probably send some.


    I’ll be at my mom’s for the next 2 weeks, do you need her address ;-?

    You could send them for The Wife’s birthday party?

  2. Replies to Replies

    cutlerish replied to your post: cutlerish replied to your photoset: Dear Tumblr…

    I did notice. I am honoured that it was an intentional choice.

    You realize you’re going to have to leave all those extra ‘u’s in Canada, right?

    nicbarajas replied to your photoset: Dear Tumblr Support: I have been trying to…

    This just sounds like a bad customer support response. Would like to hear the update.

    (Or two.)

    Yeah, it’s clearly a case of someone who doesn’t know the system and who has a list of things to copy/paste from when they see certain keywords.

    I’ll let you know if/when they reply.

    steelopus replied to your photoset: Dear Tumblr Support: I have been trying to…

    “Just avoid holding it that way.”

    [insert Hulk vs Loki GIF here]

    sblaufuss replied to your photoset: Dear Tumblr Support: I have been trying to…

    5th page has a british typo (what what)

    What what?

    No it doesn’t!



    hellamike replied to your photoset: Dear Tumblr Support: I have been trying to…

    Have you tried unplugging and plugging your router’s power supply?

    Is that the black cord?

    smartasshat replied to your post: Dear Tumblr Support: I have been trying to…

    Thank you for your question.

    Please check to be sure your computer is plugged in. If it is, then you can most likely solve the problem by re-installing Windows. To learn more about re-installing Windows, please visit

    Smartas—-Oh… right. Carry on, then.

    No one is likely to believe this, but the only thing I hate more than being an overreacting asshole is how easily I can slip into that role when “necessary”…

  3. cutlerish replied to your photoset: Dear Tumblr Support: I have been trying to…

    I’ve mentioned the problem, but I think my email address is filtered at Tumblr.

    That wouldn’t surprise me.

    BTW, you may have noticed whose post I decided to reblog in my example images. That was neither an accident nor a coincidence.

    Oh, I guess I forgot to mention that I had disabled all my Safari Extensions before reporting this as a bug (and taking screenshots), just in case they wanted to suggest one of those might be the reason.

    Despite the fact that it’s happening on the iPad too.

    Not that suggest that Tumblr Support would ever respond irrationally to the presence of a Safari Extension, of course.

  4. I am just going to, as the kids say, put this here:

    ashamedtosay replied to your photo: Yes I can.

    You are perfect in every way.
  5. Replies Roundup

    bananacasts replied to your post: It’s 72ºF outside!!

    Held in a lot of farts during the wedding and reception, huh?

    Having met us, do we strike you as people who hold in a lot of farts?

    thefount replied to your post: The Wife watches Mad Men s01e01 for the first time

    “I don’t like any of these people.” That also was my reaction to the show and sums up why I didn’t watch past season one.

    I get that, but to me I think they are some of the most interesting characters on TV because most of them are neither as good or as bad as they initially seem*, and we get to see them struggle between the times of doing the right thing and doing the thing they want to do that isn’t the right thing.

    * Well, with a few exceptions, obviously.

    gatsbylives replied to your photo: J’accuse Tumblr… J’accuse…

    My fave ep for series 2 is episode 3, but believe me, you’re gonna love the first episode for… reasons. :)

    It’s ok, you can say the word “breasts” on the Internet now.

    (I would have also accepted “boobies.”)

    Also legs. And eyes. And cheekbones. And… well, you get the point.

    fuiru replied to your photo: You might have to be a nerd to properly enjoy this…

    My favourite text adventure was one where you type “Fart” and it went “A cloud of noxious fumes rise up. You cannot breathe. You are dead.”

    Pavorite Fart!

    (Did you notice how I started and ended with farts? That’s a “callback,” folks. Did I mention I have a degree in English from an accredited institution of higher learning? Did I also mention that auto-correct fixed my misspelling of “accredited” (twice now)?)

  6. beclo replied to your photo: I just finished Band of Brothers. Well, I just…

    My mum’s uncle was one of the first to arrive at one of the camps with his unit. He was never the same again and it haunted him the rest of his life. How do you make sense of that?

    I have no idea.

    Maybe the only reassuring thing is that we can’t make any sense out of it.

    Wouldn’t it be worse if we could make sense out of it?

    Wouldn’t it be worse to ignore it? To try to pretend like it didn’t exist, or hadn’t happened, or wasn’t a horror beyond imagination?

    (I’m not suggesting you’re saying any of those things… In fact, more than anything I agree with you… and my answer is intended to build on what you said, not contradict it. This makes sense in my mind, but I thought I’d state it for the record in case it was less clear to the Outside World.)

    ~ You’ll all vouch for my sanity, right? ~

    As I was on the Holocaust website I found an email address of someone who was chair of something called the “Committee on Church Relations” and emailed her what I am sure is destined to be an email that gets printed out and posted in the break-room under the "Nutjob Of The Week" header.

    I basically told her what I put in my post, and said “I don’t know why I’m writing to you other than if I don’t then I think I’ll probably talk myself out of doing anything about this, and I don’t want to do that.”

    I also promised her that I wasn’t nearly as nuts as I knew that I sounded in my email. (Although I added that I realized that telling her I wasn’t nuts when I knew I sounded nuts might not be the most convincing argument. But if you were really nuts you wouldn’t think to say that you weren’t, right? I think I Just made myself cross-eyed.)

    And, of course, I immediately received an out-of-office reply to my email, stating that she’s going to be gone for the next 2 weeks. Although, maybe that’s good. If she does follow-up, it will give me time to either have done something about it, or be a reminder/kick in the pants.

  7. Surgery

    janetisserlis replied to your post: This may be the first time this sentence has ever been uttered in the history of ever:

    also so then the surgery went well, too?

    I just realized that although I’ve talked to a couple of people about it, I guess I never did post anything about it, so let me summarize:

    • Overall, surgery went very well. Doctor was apparently quite pleased.

    • when I first woke up, the skin around my left eye was swollen completely shut for reasons no one can explain. (“Saline pocket” was their best guess, but everyone associated with it said they’d never seen that particular thing happen before).

    • During my pre-op visit the doctor mentioned as part of their usual “disclaimer” that “there are risks involved with any surgery, anesthesia, etc” and also added “Plus we’re working in some very narrow areas around your brain and eyes.”

    • Even though The Wife and nurses told me everything was fine with my eye and it was just the skin swollen shut around it, I didn’t really believe them until I manually pried open my eyelid and confirmed that I could see out of it. And those moments were probably as scary as anything I have ever felt.

    (It was much better by the end of the day, and is 100% fine now. I know I probably overreacted but I was really scared and I blame it on the anesthesia and shut up you would have been too.)

    • I go tomorrow (Wednesday) to have the packing removed. Lindsay has described that as the “best / worst feeling ever”. I’m honestly a little more worried about that than I was the surgery because apparently they won’t sedate me for it, even if I beg or plead or cry. I’m not above trying all three at the last minute just to be sure.

    • Someone commented tonight that despite my sinuses being currently all stuffed with packing, my voice sounds exactly the same. Honestly I don’t really feel all the differently than I have felt since December, when I’ve had a near-constant sinus infection. This makes me hopeful that it’s going to be quite noticeable when he removes it. After the crying subsides.

    • Part of me wants to have The Wife take a video of the packing being removed just so I can see it non-first-hand. Part of me thinks that the crying will be distracting and potentially embarrassing because you think I’m kidding but I’m really not there’s probably going to be a lot of crying.

    • After I have completely healed from this surgery, we’ll plan the septum repair. That probably won’t be until late summer/early fall. I’m not really even thinking about that yet.

  8. Special Offer

    faneffingtastic replied to your post: sarkastickunt replied to your photo: That’s a…

    What about starting a wife rental service because honestly? I need a good old fashioned wife hug and boob grab from your wonderful wife.

    Well… she’s busy this weekend with “graduation” stuff… but, um, I might be able to swing by and help you out… after all, I’m the one who taught her the good clean joy of a boob grab.

    As far as a “wife rental service”… that’s not a bad idea, but I’m not sure I’d look good in the outfit:

    But it’s something to keep in mind if she can’t find work as a Vet Tech. After all, she’s basically a nurse for animals now, so all she’d need is a little white nurse’s uniform and…

    …sorry, I got distracted there for a second. What was I saying? Oh, right, I need to need to get the wife a graduation present, and you’re right! a nurse’s outfit would be perfect.


  9. sarkastickunt replied to your photo: That’s a burger, covered with Mac & Cheese, just…

    I’m sorry but I am in love with your wife’s face and this whole distance thing is making me sad so if you come home from work one day and she is no where to be found…I have her.

    What, this face?

    Yeah, I kind of like it too.

    But you can’t have her! She’s mine! I saw her first! Don’t make me mark my territory! Again…

  10. "Rage Flowers" reply

    treets replied to your photo: ivegotzooms: Someone at our office received one…

    Because a lot of dudes (and plenty of women too, I’m sure) mistakenly believe that gifts make up for being inconsiderate assholes who take no real responsibility for their actions, which renders said gifts insulting.

    There were several replies which made a similar point.

    This is also interesting because The Wife has often said to me that she wishes she was better at “grand gestures”… and I’ve said to her that I wish I was better at being consistent…

    I don’t think I’m at Rage Flower Asshole level, but I know that for a lot of years, she has gone above and beyond, and that’s a) hard to change once you get settled into patterns, b) hard to “make up for” because that’s been the pattern for so long.

    On the other hand, she usually lists off the sacrifices that she sees me as having made for our relationship, and considers those “greater than” whatever shortcomings I have.

    It’s strange too, because I’m fairly sure that if someone else interpreted my actions and history the way that I do, I’d defend myself and say that it was unfair. But I have no qualms about doing it myself. Likewise, I think The Wife would probably respond similarly if “attacked” (although there’s a slightly higher chance that she’d believe them and take it to heart).

    Back when we were dating and first married, I would often ask people who had “good marriages” how they made it work. I have asked similar questions of parents I’ve known who raised great kids.

    "How’d you do it? What did you do that others didn’t do? What was your secret, or what made your efforts successful?"

    The answer is always the same: “I don’t know.”

    Occasionally someone will add something about “communication” but it almost always sounds like they’ve heard others say that communication is important, so that must be it.

    One parent said to me that she thought she had a great relationship with her two teenage daughters because they always sat down to dinner together as a family every night. (And once they grew into later ‘teenage-dom’ and had more activities and were not always home at dinner time, that put a big strain on their relationship.)

    I don’t know if there’s a point to this, other than The Wife and I are approaching 17 years married and 19.5 years together and I still sometimes find myself thinking “Seriously? How did we not fuck this up?”

    This has been a blog post about relationships and feelings. My apologies. Also: Gross.

  11. Cake?! You can buy a cake at the store…

    cocktailstraw replied to your photo: In happier news, please to be congratulating The…

    She is so awesome. Make her a cake or something, will you?!?

    I stripped the bed and vacuumed the mattress, and just finished vacuuming under the bed with the Dyson Flat Out Floor Tool.

    I also washed Noah’s bedding. Oh, since she probably won’t read this until after she’s been home to see it, I also took Noah to the vet yesterday and had him groomed as a surprise. (Of course he went in the lake again today, but at least his fur is even now.)

    Oh, and I cleaned the fridge. I don’t just mean I threw out old stuff (which I did) I mean I took everything out of it, sprayed it down, washed the shelves and got all the sticky crap off of them. And we emptied the dishwasher (The Boy helped). And cleaned the bottom of the toaster oven.

    The Boy’s laundry is in the dryer, and mine is done.

    She doesn’t like flowers, and she decided she didn’t want to go out to eat tonight (we’ll probably try to go out over the weekend). Still, you can walk into any ol’ restaurant and buy a piece of cake or get a whole one from the store. But someone who will use a butter knife to scrape out the track at the front of the “crisper” area in the fridge? That’s love. Or marriage. Maybe even both.

  12. As predicted: as of today WifeOfTJ is officially not pregnant, but the screen cap of that typo still exists…

    froggeek replied to your photo: By the weekend the faux-pregnancy scare will be…

    Yes. You can always leave the baby on somebody’s doorstep, but you own those missing apostrophes FOREVER.

    Precisely… that shit stays on your permanent record…

    thefount replied to your photo: By the weekend the faux-pregnancy scare will be…

    I guess you found what to give her as an anniversary present.

    A dictionary?

    thunderdolt replied to your photo: By the weekend the faux-pregnancy scare will be…

    That is almost as bad as using misspelling instead of misspelled.

    I have no idea what you mean and I definitely did not go back and fix that typo which never existed.

  13. We Get Letters

    sunnybucket replied to your photo: I think it’s fair to say that the next month is…

    Bigger boobs. Big enough for me to play with in Michigan. Why isn’t this obvious to you?

    Good lord, woman, if they were much bigger I’d essentially be married to a capital P with a head.

    (Not that there’s anything wrong with that. Except that next year’s anniversary present would probably be some sort of a back support device.)

    beefranck replied to your photo: I think it’s fair to say that the next month is…

    Pencil me in for a 12 hour hug while you are in town for the wedding, won’t you? Thank you!


    Agenda updated.

    n.b. I thought about listing it as “Burgit Meeting” ala “Budget Meeting” but I liked this better.

  14. Because inside jokes are better when all of your good friends get them

    nicbarajas replied to your photo: “Fine, if you’re not going to clean off the bed,…

    “LIKE AN ANIMAL” might be the best 5by5 inside joke ever.

    If you aren’t an übernërd and don’t listen to Hypercritical then you missed episode 58 where (around 92 minutes in) John Siracusa was describing why he hates TiVo’s 30 second skip button on the “TiVo Premiere Elite” which is apparently a real product name, and not an SNL parody of stupid product names:

    I’m hitting the Fast Forward Scan button three times — LIKE AN ANIMAL — to skip commercials, that’s no way to live! I don’t want to see the commercials scan past me as a series of little fuzzy images!

    If you don’t want to listen to the whole episode (shame on you), you can even hear him say it at or get it as a ringtone here.

  15. It’s rude to show yourself as smarter than your host!

    (But these 3 did it anyway… and I’m glad. So glad I wanted to share their insights with all y’all — TjL)

    swayinganyway replied to your photo: On the left is a bowl of new dog food I just…


    thunderdolt replied to your photo: On the left is a bowl of new dog food I just…

    Don’t you dare throw out that perfectly good kibble! Geez. It’s just like when you pick up the hormone-laden turds I leave ON PURPOSE so other dogs know who/where I am. Dang!

    dwineman replied to your photo: On the left is a bowl of new dog food I just…

    Actually not that dumb. In the bowl is normal, everyday, predictable food. She knows that’s hers. But the dusty floor food? Where’d THAT come from? Better eat it first in case it goes away again!