Fun Size Bytes


  1. Somebody didn’t make the end of the “let’s stay up late and watch a movie after mom goes to bed”—movie.

Make that two somebodies.

    Somebody didn’t make the end of the “let’s stay up late and watch a movie after mom goes to bed”—movie.

    Make that two somebodies.

  2. Turning 12 means he can now ride shotgun.

To his last day of 5th grade.

    Turning 12 means he can now ride shotgun.

    To his last day of 5th grade.

  3. We stopped at a gas station last night around midnight. As soon as I stopped the car, Mort popped up from his curled up position as co-pilot.

    I put his collar on him and walked him to the grass where he “freshened” about 6 of their plants. Then he prance-walked back to the car with me, jumped in the driver’s side, and then crawled into the backseat to curl up with The Boy, who was already asleep.

    These were various pictures I was able to take between then and the time we arrived at home.

  4. Going… Going.… Gone.

  5. Thankful

    Getting ready for bed after a wonderfully lazy day at Lindsay’s house. The boy has his headphones in, listening to his iPad, probably watching YouTube videos about Yugioh or some such.

    I reached over and tussled his hair a bit. He looked up.

    "Love you."

    "I love you too."

    "Good day?" I asked.

    "Great day," he answered.

    "Me too. Goodnight, kiddo."

    "Goodnight, dad."

  6. The Boy just made his first Spotify playlist.

Ok, sure, it’s pretty clear we’re raising a middle class white kid in America, but other than that, I think it’s not a bad list.

    The Boy just made his first Spotify playlist.

    Ok, sure, it’s pretty clear we’re raising a middle class white kid in America, but other than that, I think it’s not a bad list.

  7. As if I wasn’t going to make an animated GIF of this.

    As if I wasn’t going to make an animated GIF of this.

  8. Oh crap, there’s something pink in here… I think that’s part of my brain.
    The Boy, examining his Kleenex after a particularly robust sneeze this morning on the way to school.
  9. Your son is so you in the shoe shopping genes.

    The Wife, via iMessage

    In case it was in any way unclear, this is not a compliment.

  10. Parenting is hard, episode 3,417

    The Boy (10): "Have you ever considered having another kid? Like giving me a brother?"

    Me: "Well, yeah, we thought about it. Why do you ask?"

    The Boy: "I’ve been thinking about that a lot today."

    Me: "Why have you been thinking about that a lot today?"

    The Boy: "Because it turns out that it’s illegal to own a boxing kangaroo."

  11. wifeoftj:

Say ahhhh!
So, The Boy has not been feeling well the last few days, so I took him to the doctor this morning. We went through a few books and were still waiting. I asked him what he wanted to read next.

“Give me that Parents magazine. I want to see how you’re doing.”

The Wife took him to his appointment, and I picked him up because she had to go to her doctor’s appointment.

Driving home with The Boy (after he had just found out he had strep), he said “Mom told me that when you had strep, it knocked you out for a week!”

Me: “Oh, she did, did she?”

Him: “Yeah. I didn’t even know I had it. It just feels like a lump in my throat.”

Me: “AH! see, now when I had strep, it felt like I was swallowing knives! I had the really painful kind of strep. It sounds like you have the easy kind.”

Him: “Actually, when I swallow it is a little pointy… but that’s only like once every minute or so.”

Love that kid.

    wifeoftj:

    Say ahhhh! So, The Boy has not been feeling well the last few days, so I took him to the doctor this morning. We went through a few books and were still waiting. I asked him what he wanted to read next.

    “Give me that Parents magazine. I want to see how you’re doing.”

    The Wife took him to his appointment, and I picked him up because she had to go to her doctor’s appointment.

    Driving home with The Boy (after he had just found out he had strep), he said “Mom told me that when you had strep, it knocked you out for a week!”

    Me: “Oh, she did, did she?”

    Him: “Yeah. I didn’t even know I had it. It just feels like a lump in my throat.”

    Me: “AH! see, now when I had strep, it felt like I was swallowing knives! I had the really painful kind of strep. It sounds like you have the easy kind.”

    Him: “Actually, when I swallow it is a little pointy… but that’s only like once every minute or so.”

    Love that kid.

  12. Blanket Story, coda

    Remember that adorable story about how sweet my kid is and how he covered me with his blanket on Monday morning?

    And remember how Steve tried to suggest that it might have been the dog?!

    (If not, read them both here.)

    (As if!)

    Well, let’s return to Monday night, just around The Boy’s Bedtime, EDT.

    "Dad, I can’t find my second blanket…"

    (Did I mention he sleeps with 4 blankets? Even in the summer? I blame The Wife’s thin blood and the fact that he was manufactured and born in Florida.)

    "Which one is the second one? The Steelers’ one?"

    "Yeah…"

    "It’s still on my bed from this morning…"

    "…This morning?"

    "Remember when mom took you to school so I could sleep in? Didn’t you put that blanket on me?"

    "No… I think it must have been the dog."

    "Dammit, Steve!"

    "What?"

    "Take your blanket and go to bed."

    ~ Several Hours Earlier… ~

    Me: “Did you see that picture I posted? How sweet is that? He covered me with his blanket!”

    The Wife: “I think that was the dog.”

    Me: “Oh shut up, it was not.”

    ~ Sigh… ~

    It’s tough being the only romantic in a world full of Muggles…

  13. "Dad, can I sit on your lap?"

    Nuff said.

  14. Attention! Green Belt Testing about to start!!!

    Please send The Boy all your good vibes.

    All of them! He will return them as soon as he’s done with them.

    (He has gone 4x/week for months and worked really hard, so I don’t think it will be a problem, but I never count my chickens before they hatch. I mean, if I had any chickens. which I don’t. As far as I know.)